Super Mario AI
by Apostr'phe
Summary: The Mario crew is back for another adventure... except this time it was written entirely by the Talk to Transformer AI. It's gonna be interesting, to say the least.


**This entire story was written by the Talk to Transformer AI, a bot that generates a story based on user input. All I entered to start were a bunch of character names and a bunch of quotation marks. For some reason, it kept generating what looked like wiki articles, but eventually, a narrative story came up. From there, I pieced together a story by using the last generation as the input. The result is fantastic. Enjoy this work of... uh, art.**

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"BAM!"

Luigi fell over!

Peach jumped up in front of Luigi. "What?"

"Oh I'm okay!" Luigi started running away!

Peach got down in a panic. "Hey Luigi?"

"Peach!" Luigi yelled as he ran up to her again. "What? What you just did?!"

"What?!" Peach yelled as she jumped down to Luigi's level!

Luigi threw her into the ground. Peach's head slammed into the ground behind her, and the ground cracked. Her eyes started falling out of her head!

"Peach?!" Mario exclaimed, seeing her.

"Luigi!"

"Hey Luigi…"

Luigi was holding his head in his hands. "Oh well. I think I'm alright. I'm going to go now anyway. I have some time…"

Peach's eyes widened. "Please leave Peach?"

"She is my princess and her life." Luigi told Peach. "Please just leave her."

Peach was very excited now, so she asked him why. "What is it?"

"I told you…" Mario told her.

"What do you mean by that?" Peach asked. They had been having a terrible time of it lately.

"Well, since we're on the verge of becoming the first family together, I want you to keep your feelings in check." He told her, before turning his attention to her breasts and noticing that they were larger than he'd ever seen them before.

"So what can we do?" Peach asked him.

"You can't see me," Mario said. "It's in my heart. There are no other parts of you, there are no eyes, you can't touch me for a really long time." Mario looked at his arms before he moved on.

It had taken Mario several seconds to come to a conclusion. It always took more than a few seconds before an idea formed and he'd start out with two, and then get lost in his thoughts. He was glad that his mind was still fresh on all those years of practice with Peach.

He felt himself getting impatient – if the situation ever came to a boil where he just had to fight it, he would've left.

"Mario, let's see if you're still in time!"

Mario turned and looked at Peach. Her eyes were filled with pride as she watched him run out of the castle and back to the castle on the other side. That confidence seemed to glow brighter, he felt, with every step of the way he pushed back the feelings of apprehension they had felt towards him the night before. He couldn't help the slight smile that appeared on her face and made him feel better.

"Thank you!" he said, almost in broken French, to give her a smile as well.

"No problem!" Peach waved at him with a smile of her own. "How are you feeling now? How are your powers?"

"No problems, thanks. We have fun!" Mario replied with a grin.

Peach smiled back in return, making Mario smile back in return, making them smile all at once. "You can trust me, Mario. I'm going to put up any obstacle you place before me. There may come a time when… I'm going to… there might come a time… when we'll be back together."

"I'm not giving up!" Mario shouted. It was the last thing he had expected Peach to talk about, the only time he really got to hear his father. And the moment he did, he realized that there wasn't much to worry about.

Mario's jaw dropped as she walked away. For one he felt… relieved. She'd never have been happy about it before. But… now… there was no reason why he shouldn't stay friends as long as it would benefit both of them.

"What if… what if… you don't want me?" Mario asked, trying to contain his excitement.

"Don't think so," Peach assured him. "If you have any doubts about me ever being a real friend, stop worrying and just go to the park or do anything that'll cause me to feel any better. You probably think I'm too clingy with you, but just think about it."

"Wow… oh, my word," Luigi commented awkwardly.

Peach looked at him thoughtfully, watching him nervously. She then went to check in on Bowser's newly built mansion, noting that they were still not finished with their repairs. As she left she stopped in front of Bowser's fortress of many rooms. She smiled briefly at the sight before noticing that she could hear more tinkling sounds from his workshop nearby. She looked down at the sounds but there was no trace of them in any direction; instead, they was coming from the room near her. The sound of them was like a huge whirring noise coming from the nearby fortress.

Peach looked back at Mario.

There were two soldiers in the room. One of them kept pointing at Mario, who kept staring into space. The other one was glaring at Luigi.

A small laugh suddenly came from the other soldier as he tried to keep it hidden but at the same time tried to keep smiling to himself.

Mario stopped to look closer at him. It seemed he couldn't keep it hidden from Peach. She wanted to punch Luigi.

The voice of the second soldier continued:

"Mario… you're really too much for us right now."

The second soldier got up slowly and went back into hiding. Peach watched from the wall as that voice came back from the wall. If she had said they wouldn't be able to see the face of Mario, she probably would've had to kill Princess Peach. No matter what. All she had to hope for was to avoid the Mario that would destroy everything. Or as she knew she could use her tail to do that. No matter how many times she tried to break free. That was just her luck, Peach thought. She had to have gotten her hands on her tail. She would've been so happy if that Mario had been able to keep her under control that morning, the way he did once she let loose with a burst of fire and his magic, and Mario let loose. She hated that Mario didn't understand her abilities. It was like he didn't have any. Mario never let her. And all she wanted was the chance to get to know him for herself... "Hm?"

"You, too," Toad explained, his face blank. "I don't think I have the ability to stop the Mario you know!" He was right. While Bowser had some of Donkey's powers in order to defend himself, he was unable to control the Mushroom Kingdom. The only way to fight him was to find him somewhere where he wasn't under his protection or where Bowser wouldn't attack him. His only goal was for the Mushroom Kingdom to go down.

Mario had only a few hours to find this enemy. The only reason that he had to stop him was to protect his comrades, who had come to him to ask that his battle with Bowser be stopped. He was hoping that when Bowser defeated the Mario of the Mushroom Kingdom, all of the other Mario's would join him and be left behind by their allies.

"Well, I guess it will be just like this forever. My enemy is no match for mine!" Mario exclaimed as he turned to look and heard a loud yell come from his opponents.

He looked at the man he could not see, and saw that he was Bowser.

"You know I am...the bad man and my goal is complete control!" Mario exclaimed, seeing that his target had no intention of retreating from him. "For all eternity, your time here will be yours. As the most evil, I say! Now, take your punishment and live a terrible life with those who would kill Mario!" He turned to look towards Bowser in disgust but was quickly interrupted by Bowser's arrival.

"Yes! We have come to save you Mario! Mario we are...your...best...friend!"

Mario's eyes widened in shock. What was he supposed to do? Who, exactly would Bowser choose as Bowser's friend?

Then to his shock, Mario saw Bowser suddenly pull his arm back.

"What...I see a friend! A...friend!" Bowser's breath began to take him out, making them look in complete confusion. Then he turned around looking at Mario and waved his arm. The wind blew him away which sent Mario flying to the corner where he caught his breath and turned back...

Just then, a mysterious figure came closer and Bowser saw something he never expected to be there in the first place - an animal. Mario saw a rabbit and immediately assumed it was a mouse. At first glance, it looked exactly like an octopus with a pink nose; however, the rabbit was obviously different. Mario didn't react, and proceeded to attack it rather leisurely, though he didn't seem to feel any pain from the attack. Bowser was more interested in Mario than the rabbit, and he was able to bite it as often as he pleased. However, when Bowser tried to pierce the rabbit, it reacted to Bowser like any ordinary rabbit. However, this changed after they were struck by lightning. As both were taken aback, the rabbit turned in the direction of Peach's castle. After Mario killed a bunch of rabbits, Bowser was also taken by surprise.

He saw that Bowser was now a giant, and his giant stature soon began to cause a sensation in the castle, leading to a stampede across the castle hallways and into the hallways of the other castle buildings. Mario, Luigi, Peach and Bowser finally had enough and tried to retreat from the castle, though Bowser continued his assault. However, the combined efforts of Mario, Luigi and Peach were able to push Bowser further away, finally landing their blows on him. Mario and Luigi managed to defeat Bowser by knocking him into the castle wall, and Bowser's final words were only the sound of his gigantic hammer as it hit a barrier and dropped him to the floor below. Bowser, who was now completely drained of energy, slowly died, and was only seen floating in the air, before collapsing in death and turning to dust.

"It's over," Mario said sadly. "It's over."

"Well, there's still a chance in hell," Luigi said. "I guess we have to wait and see."

"He's going to take it from us all right!?" Princess Peach asked in amusement.

"He is," Princess Peach said, shaking her head. "He's going to take everything from us all right, with just a few changes of plan. We can fix that. We're going to do what Luigi has tried to do for decades, not try to make it impossible."

"He's going to use that plan to defeat Mario!" "We've got so many weaknesses, this can't be happening. Luigi must have had enough time to set up his defense, and that doesn't look too bad."

"I have the same idea as you about a trap for the Bowser Jr. and Bowser Jr. Jr.," Luigi said, still shaking his head.

"Lily and I believe in our power," Princess Peach said firmly. "If we have to lose to Mario for his life, it's not worth it. I have my eyes on the prize, and I'm still not satisfied."

"What could we do to weaken his magic?" Bowser said. "We would probably have to defeat him with our lives - or his - in order to defeat him," he said.

Luigi nodded and looked down at a map he'd kept for a number of years. He saw that the next few days involved some important events to decide the outcome of World War I and World War II.

"And that will take some serious research," Bowser said. "So I'll think on this longer term. But at this point, the plan is only to focus on this battle."

"I believe you," Luigi responded, looking down at the map. "But if the battle's not won, you're already back in control of the Mario game?"

"Yeah," Bowser said. He turned to face Mario and Peach and smiled. "So what? We'll get the next battle just fine, then?"

Mario looked at the map. "Wait . . . what was the map you kept last time when we were having that argument?"

"Mine!" Mario said. "It's on my office wall."

Luigi turned to face him. "I think you're really getting ahead of yourself. We might be able to put everything back into order, but you're leaving our company without us seeing the next battle."

"I know. And I know that you'll do whatever it takes to win."

Everyone in the hall stopped talking when they realized that Luigi had spoken. After a long pause, they all started talking again.

"That's enough!" Bowser shouted. "We're going away. Mario, Peach, and Bowser, my friends, do you have something to say?"

Mario turned and turned to face Bowser, but there were none of the smiles of his previous battles. Mario raised an eyebrow as he thought "When I win will be even more awesome. Now, do something else."

"What else?"

Bowser smiled. "We don't have any other options."

Mario looked up at his boss. This time, it felt like he was at the top of the list to speak with Bowser. Bowser held his shoulders up with both of his hands, like he was crying.

"Bowser, I know when you said I could lose, you weren't kidding! You don't want me to be happy as we watch all this great stuff from the movies."

"What movie?" Bowser paused for a moment before he turned his head to stare at the screen. "Oh, I know, this is a weird movie. But it's something everyone is so eager to see! I don't have a lot of time, since the TV is broadcasting our fight right now." He turned away from the screen. "But I know what to do. I won't leave you behind, so we can have some fun."

Bowser turned his gaze back to the screen. "But you mustn't lose just yet! I can't wait too long."

"I'm not saying this to be arrogant but if you win, I won't let you go even if there's no money in it, right?"

Bowser raised an eyebrow. "If you think I'm a worthless piece of shit, you'll never have me around again! There's only one way to end this - beat me!" Bowser grabbed Mario by his hair and yanked him forward. "It seems as though I cannot take on Bowser any longer," said Bowser. With each step Bowser's arms, legs and arms began to grow. One arm was taller than all of Mario's. With one hand, he could cut through anything. With another, he could throw his enemies backwards. With another, he could crush them. With his last, he could crush his foes with one hand.

"Hm… I'll tell you what to do… You'll see!" said Bowser with a pleased grin. "This is gonna be fun!" Bowser began to push up a fence, revealing he had finally found a place to keep some things. "So, do you want to play my first Mario game?" he enquired.

Mario shook his head, "No Bowser… this is my own game." Bowser laughed and stepped into the hole.

A bright flash of light filled the entire area around Bowser, giving everyone a fright. Everyone looked up to see Mario with the Starman hanging over his head. When Mario got closer, he saw everyone was completely confused and scared. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his face in horror.

"I'm searching for the secret entrance that leads to the secret underground chamber where we can go out," said Bowser. "If he's not with us there I bet this is gonna be a really scary experience… The people here might kill me!" Bowser looked around a bit and began yelling in anger. His voice was like thunder and all of the other Toades in the Toad City looked towards him as if they heard the sound. They also kept looking up at the ceiling, expecting to see Bowser come crashing down.

"You don't want to kill me, do you?"

That was when Mario realized that Bowser had been listening to his screams and kept coming back to it. The next thing she heard from him was Bowser shouting something in Spanish.

"This must be Bowser who came into Peach's village and stole her magic hat!"

Mario continued yelling at Bowser. This was bad, but at least he could fight.

"Bowser! Get out of me! I'll show you my power."

Mario continued pounding on one of the doors he had opened. His fist was hitting Bowser in his face and as he was doing this he suddenly felt cold and began feeling angry. However, this happened again and this time, it ended with Bowser's hat falling out of his nose.

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**The future is now, folks.**

**If you enjoyed this nonsensical adventure, let me know and I'll make some more. If you want to check out Talk to Transformer yourself, you'll find it on Google pretty quickly. Careful, you might find it addictive.**

**All credit goes to the amazing minds behind the Talk to Transform algorithm.**

**Have a nice day!**


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